The Expendables 2 Review: A Sylvester Stallone’s blood and guts adventure

Sylvester Stallone’s blood and guts adventure draws much of its visual power from a little-known biological phenomenon. When a human body is shot, stabbed or punched really hard. It explodes in a shower of flying blood, much like a water balloon filled to capacity with ketchup.

Also, heads and limbs detach from torsos with the ease of a G.I. Joe doll in the hands of a malevolent 3-year-old. And most automobiles, when flipped, will explode with all the intensity of an atomic Ford Pinto.

I could bore you with the storyline of The Expendables 2 (Biet Doi Danh Thue 2). Which in the broadest terms involves a gang of boomer-plus-aged mercenaries trying to stop a bad guy from stealing tons of plutonium from a former Soviet stockpile. But plotting is not the point of either this or the previous Expendables epic.

The reason we’re all here is to see 66-year-old Stallone and his veteran all-star, all-stud cast. Including veteran action figures Jason Statham, Chuck Norris, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren and Jean-Claude Van Damme  shoot, knife, bomb, strangle and neck-snap their way across the Balkans, all the time wisecracking about each others’ oddball quirks.

The fun for us, of course, is in seeing these AARP-eligible hunks have their way with the youngsters, both friend and foe. The old guys keep reminding us that they’re not as buff as the kids. Although Stallone, for one, still has one impressive set of guns. But they’re smarter, they’re savvier and they’re survivors.

Sylvester Stallone and his bad old boys come out to play and blow a lot of stuff up.

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